Blink and you’ll miss it

But I know I won’t that is for damn sure….. Goodbye again Sydney … It was the place I needed to be to meet the man who has completely changed my life and views on love and being loved but my romance with my hometown of Sydney died  in the last week of the Australian summer when SS and I took a holiday break to the beach side of the north coast of New South Wales  and on our return instead of feeling relaxed, refreshed and ready for more work and renovations on the house we were met by the news reports of stabbings, shootings, an all in brawl in which a kid had his eye socket broken , a birthday party being crashed and fighting that caused the riot squad being called to the local McDonald’s and the cherry on top was a young girl being bashed for her handbag on the train causing the loss of her unborn child and my first experience of someone trying to mug me for my briefcase all in the first week back at work in Sydney.

And that was when SS and I looked at each other, looked around us at our little house in western Sydney and said ” FUCK THIS SHIT” ….. We outta here.

Within a two week space of time we were headed back up the north coast with a plan to buy a house and build our dream life together away from all the disgusting violence and Sydney siders who have their heads that far up their own asses or in the bloody phones that they don’t say hello to each other in the street,they don’t know the person sitting next to them for an hour on the train each day , nor do they care. SS & I want more than that from life!!

So we set off and found an amazing house first weekend , were starstruck by it and put in our offer only to find out it was full of termites and structurally not strong enough in the supports to hold up a dog house let alone a four bedroom 3 bathroom house and really not what we wanted anyway on reflection.!!!!!!

luckily we dodged that very expensive bullet came home to Sydney, found a real estate agent to sell the Sydney property and renovations quickly turned to remodelling quickly on a budget with long hours spent ripping up carpets, painting walls , tiles and just about anything nailed down and packing our lives into a storage container bar the necessary day to day  items for our full time jobs which we had to maintain amongst 1am finishes and weekend trips up the coast and hours spent trawling real estate sites !!! 

We make a pretty good team though . He takes care of the solicitors and legal side of buying and selling and I’m the foreman of the renovations co- ordinating tradesman and getting the supplies for renovations but it’s now only about a week or two from being listed for sale and as of yesterday we officially have a new home that we love and can’t wait to move to. We are leaving corporate jobs to do what we love and the future is something I look forward to each day with SS . We are both very lucky to have found each other in a time in our lives where we were ready to love each other and I’m happy ….. So very happy to have this exquisite man to love . 

My babies are growing up way too fast and our relationship is the best it’s been in a long time and I think they are happy that I am loved very much this time around Oh and a beautiful new addition arrives in two weeks time!! Our new  cocker spaniel puppy Dexter ….

Life is beautiful just thought I’d update you all


I Do

On Sunday 23rd July @ 4pm I married this gorgeous human being and became Mrs S

Where has the time gone 

So it feels like a really long time since I posted about what I’ve been up to . As you may or may not know SS and I are engaged and are getting married very soon .. oh and my kids are AMAZING too

My eldest son  joined the airforce , my daughter finished school and is studying beauty therapy and just turned 18 and the baby is currently finishing high school but is moving in with SS and I at the end of the school year to study at university and I am over the moon as it is something that I never thought would happen. I get to be a full time mummy again .

So much has been going on . Organising our wedding and we also just bought our second and third homes as investments and opened our own vintage store !!! 

Life is good …. life is very very good 

I don’t think it will ever burst….. my happiness bubble that is 

October update 2016

So here I am laying in our new king size bed in our brand new home on the NSW north coast wondering when my bubble of happiness and contentment will burst this time. We  have had a few very close calls this last few months  as we prepared to head up this way for settlement on our new home and all looked like it was going to shit when the postal service lost the deeds to our old home ,which were needed to go to settlement and still hadn’t arrived when I bailed up our postman in tears on a Thursday afternoon begging him to please tell me he had some registered post for us. But to no avail……

When I messaged SS to let him know that they still were not here he quickly cancelled our booking up the coast and we resigned ourselves to spending the weekend finishing the old house renovations so we could finally get it on the market after first having our real estate agent have a heart attack and then disappearing all together only to later learn he was sacked and welcoming a new one aboard who finally came to see us three weeks later from the agency who promised us so much help to get the house done and so far had delivered nothing that if I didn’t know I quickly had to bloody learn or our house would never have  gone up for sale and would have laid unfinished forever.But we got there eventually and after settling on our new home and selling the newly renovated old home in Sydney, numerous trips and 6 hour drives up and down the coast with our furniture, purchasing new furniture , our new fur baby Dexter arriving and turning our world upside down , leaving our jobs and retiring we have finally started to settle into our new lives in a much nicer and beautiful beachside suburb in our gorgeous new home. 

Ohhhhh and I sent back that old engagement ring ……. I don’t look back anymore as I have everything I need right here in the now with SS , the love and support from a much closer relationship with my family and kids and my hands full making our new house a home and our big sooky cocker spaniel Dexter 

My eldest son turned 21 and has just joined the Airforce and I’m super proud ! My daughter has just graduated high school and her and her youngest brother just visited our new place over the school break with my sister and her kids so things have been a little chaotic recently but we did get a chance to celebrate our birthdays in early September with a holiday to the Gold Coast in Queensland where SS surprised me and I got to swim with dolphins and seals at Sea world . And after a few more weeks of painting and unpacking we are setting off for another relaxing break in the last week of November to Noosa on the Sunshine Coast of Qld for some much needed us time and R&R before the whole family heads to us for Christmas . 

Hope everyone is doing life one day at a time ….. just like me 

Celebrating 2 years

It may have been Valentine’s Day but for me it also marked the 2 year anniversary of me taking my life back from an incideous drug that destroyed my life .

And so although we love each other endlessly we spent the weekend celebrating the fact that I am alive and healthy, that I am again able to function in a society meant for contributors not those that suck the funding from hard working people’s taxes . 

We celebrated that we found each other at a point in our lives that meant we were able to start in a healthy place and move together through anything that comes our way … And with a clear mind for me . Not riddled with psychosis or my body ravaged by dehydration, sleep deprivation and deranged thoughts . It is now only the memories that last of what I became . 

And I celebrated knowing that although I didn’t believe in myself others that did held fast in their support and love for me. 

I did it …. I made it and I will continue to move through life being able to stop and smell the roses knowing I am loved completely and have nothing that I depend on to get me through my days but that love. 

SS spoilt me rotten for the special occasion with wine, chocolates , lingerie and a beautiful stay at the luxury Fairmont resort in the blue mountains and seafood dinner overlooking the Jamison valley .  


Bitter Endings 

Don’t be alarmed my relationship with SS is stronger than ever . We are in a blissful cloud of renovations, holidays, working and love. 

I’m happy & I mean really happy and this weekend to celebrate the special Occassion which most people call Valentine’s Day but I call the day I took back control of my life two years ago we are celebrating my sobriety …… Can you believe it has been two whole years since I was sitting at the airport heading home from what was meant to be my chance to prove that I was able to be loved and loved in return by the man i had wanted to really love me for so long and yet again I was always left feeling undeserved and not good enough .  

But it didn’t end up the way I wanted it to at the time ( can’t always have what we want …. Right?) as so often was the story of my life back then. So I did everything I could to get my life back on track . I got clean, followed the rules, worked hard to build up my self worth that had been decimated by bad relationship choices one after another and yet still I went into another , in fact I almost married the moron but I never loved him one bit. I know that now I don’t think for one second of my time away from my family living up the coast changed anything about the way I couldn’t shake Sir from my mind or my heart . All it changed was that I finally grew the balls to tell the man I wAs due to marry that I didn’t want that life and I packed up and moved home having no intention to return ever. 

I was determined to get a great job and start over without men full stop. Last year was all about what I wanted ! It was time for me to love me but ……. 

Well what can I say I did love me but I fell head over ass in love with a man I met a few days after moving home . And he is the only one I have had in my thoughts since. My past become memories both good and bad, lessons on what I didn’t want or need . SS is my breath of fresh air , my freedom to be who I want when I want how I want and he supports, encourages and gives me a drive to succeed that has come with being loved and feeling like I am worthy of everything he gives to me . 

We are now living together , I’m working full time and we are renovating his house so it becomes our home. I’m exhausted physically and mentally after work but I come home and I cook our meals , I wash our clothes I, I make our bed and we get into bed together each night . He listens to me , appreciates all of me . Even my short comings and knows my past . I don’t hide from him knowing the real me .  

We take holidays , quick breaks and have dates every week. And I no longer miss my old life, crave what I have lost or wish things could have been different as there are no bitter endings in my future with SS only sunshine and one happy little grasshopper that knows that I had enough patience to wait for what I always deserved .  

 Hope to chat again soon 

A xx 

Thank goodness that’s finished.

And by that I mean Christmas !!!! And amen to Boxing Day sales…..

finally got to see my babies on Boxing Day and we hit the stores to do some retail therapy …. Note to self – DO NOT TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO THE SALES AS THEY WILL TEAR THROUGH THEIR CHRISTMAS MONEY AND THEN DEVOUR YOURS.

but worth every cent to spend time with them and see them smile.

Counting down till New Years now and might work on some resolutions for the new year although not much could top the year I’ve had in 2015.


Merry Christmas from down under xx

Wishing everyone a merry Christmas and a safe and fabulous New Year for 2016. 

2015 has been another year of much change for me . 

I moved home to Sydney in April and SS came crashing into my world and swept me off my feet. I fell in love with every thing about him and us and our lives together . We started renovating our house. I started a new job and start full time after the new year. I turned 40 and SS took me on an amazing holiday to daydream island. We’ve been sight seeing all over this beautiful country and I’ve had some amazing firsts. Like being truely loved and wanted by someone who adores me.

My eldest baby moved to a different state for his job and I miss him lots and they are with their dad for Christmas but I will see the two younger ones Boxing Day. 

This is my lovely man SS and I love him to the moon and back . 



 Looking forward to what’s to come  in 2016….. 

Drive safely and take care of those you love over the holiday period and I’ll chat again soon xx